Rantings in a Coffee Shop

August 30, 2017January 26, 2019 Jenn JohnsonLeave a comment

I’m that person in a busy coffee shop, sitting at the corner table for two that currently seats one. A blur in the lives of the people passing by, placing orders. No one really notices me since they are too busy with their own doings. I sit, listening quietly to conversations, a curious mind I tell myself. What do people talk about ? How are they friends and what qualities am I missing so that I am alone?

At times it’s satisfying to be by myself, a solo in a world of pairs. Other times I long for an ear, a friend who sits with me in coffee shops in the middle of a rainy afternoon, just to pass the time. We talk about simple things like the weather or our favorite T.V. shows and we laugh about things our kids said.

I sip my coffee, peering above the top of my plastic lid, enjoying the hot brew and the warmth of it in my cupped hands. But deep, deep down I’m cold and coffee doesn’t seem to ever warm me completely.

boy mom · Happiness · Life · Mom life · Parenting · School · Stay at home moms · Words

Silence is the new calm.

August 30, 2017January 26, 2019 Jenn Johnson1 Comment

Silence.

They say silence is golden, and they are right.

Silence is calm. It’s an invited peace that I have been longing for.

This is the third day that all my boys have been in school and I have had the house to myself. This is the first year that all my boys have had school 5 days a week, all day long. My 4-year old is no longer the baby that stays home with mama but instead he is growing into a young boy that is now in Pre-K.

I worried that being at home sans kids would be lonely and that I’d miss having a child near me at all times. I do, but I also don’t. It’s been 13 years since I have had this type of quiet. I had my oldest son when I was 26, my middle son when I was 30 and my youngest little man when I was 35. Now I’m 40 and finding that I rather enjoy the solitude that comes with kids being away at school and a house to myself.

It’s a new stage for me, for sure. I’m figuring out, as I go, what my week will look like, what my schedule will entail. How being a stay at home mom (with no kids) will play out day after day. And you know what? I’m excited!

Through out the years our lives have many twists and turns and we find things to look forward to. Getting engaged and then planning the wedding, getting married. Deciding it’s time to have a baby and then finding out you are pregnant. The birth of your first child and then your second and third. Realizing that you are done having kids and just relishing your babies and how fast they are growing. All of a sudden you think that these exciting stages are over. You are married. You are done having kids. Said kids are no longer babies and are in school now. Most of your firsts are in the past, but are all of your new beginnings over? Or is a new beginning starting to form? I’ll say the latter.

I am older now. My kids are all in school. I now have time for me. Time to do things like write and go to the grocery store by myself. Time to reflect on things. Time to just go to the library and wander through the many aisles of books, in no hurry to leave. Time to figure out more about myself and who I am. Time to delve into God’s word a bit more and begin to understand more about Jesus’ life. Time to sit on the couch and just read a book with a warm cup of coffee in hand. Time to volunteer at my boys school and be that mom who bakes cupcakes for birthday parties. Time to get all my chores done and dinner prepared. Time. Lots and lots of time. Uninterrupted and quiet.

Silence.

As I’m writing this, it’s what I hear. It’s new. It’s different. It will take some getting used to but I’m going to welcome it with open arms. I’m going to bask in it and I’m definitely going to cherish it. This golden silence.

Happiness · Life · Minimalism · Self confidence

Becoming more by owning less.

August 29, 2017August 29, 2017 Jenn JohnsonLeave a comment

I am not a hoarder by any means, in fact I am the exact opposite of a hoarder. I tend to throw things out too quickly. My husband has been known to holler at me once or twice because he left something out on the kitchen counter only to find it missing a few days later when he went back to claim it. Oops. What can I say? I absolutely hate clutter. If I had my way, my house would look like one on the pages of Better Homes & Gardens magazine, but with three boys running around I have come to face reality….that will never happen. So no, I am not a hoarder. Here’s where it gets weird though….walk into my closet. Seriously, it’s crazy full of clothes in there, like, overflowing with clothes. Or at least it was until last Friday. I owned so many t-shirts and blouses and tank tops and jeans…..some even still had price tags on them (and I didn’t just buy them). I decided it was time to purge. When was I ever going to be able to wear ALL those clothes. I normally have a few t-shirts and tops and pants that I cycle through each week but did I really need an extra 50 tops? NO!!! Here’s what I did, I went into the kitchen, grabbed a handful of trash bags and got to work.

Step 1: I took EVERYTHING out of my closet. Shoes, purses, clothes, belts…..everything and laid it on my bed. (What a mess that was).

Step 2: I made 3 piles. Pile 1 was clothes I still wanted for sure, pile 2 was clothes I might want but wasn’t sure and pile 3 was clothes I definitely didn’t want (or need).

Step 3: I went back through piles 1 & 2 just to be sure of my decision.

Step 4: I immediately took my pile 2, my maybe’s, down to the basement so they were out of sight and I wasn’t tempted to move any into my yes pile.

Step 5: I hung up and organized all my pile 1, my yes pile. (Wow! I could actually see my closet floor).

Step 6: I put all of my pile 3, the clothes I no longer wanted, into the trash bags.

Step 7: I headed to a nearby store that buys clothes for a small price (I brought in 11 trash bags)!!!!!!!

I ended up making $315 on all my throw away clothes! What?! (small happy dance).

I had become so attached to my clothes over the years and I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel but you know what? I instantly felt lighter. I had literally gotten rid of half, if not more, of my wardrobe, and It felt great!

Here’s my point….sometimes when we let things go that are of no use to us, we feel better. We make space for more important things. In my case, time. Having a more simplified wardrobe makes it easier for me to get dressed in the morning. Less clothes means less choices. It also means contentment. I’m on a journey to start being happy with what I do have and stop needing more. By cleaning out my closet, which was the one area of my life that was cluttered, I cleaned out my life. I simplified. I am not a hoarder but I was a shopper. Clothes gave me confidence. They determined how I felt. So I said goodbye. Goodbye to some THING giving my life meaning. I’m ready to find meaning in more……my kids, my husband, my writing, my love of yoga & books, my church. Life is so much happier this way, just simply happier <3. And I’m ready for that kind of life!