boy mom · Happiness · Life · love · Mom life · Parenting · Poetry · Pregnancy · Relationships · Words

I loved you long before I met you

Long before I met you, I already loved you.

When you were just a thought in my mind, that turned into a growing baby in my belly, I already loved you.

When I heard your heartbeat for the first time.

When I felt you kick and move and stretch.

When you had the hiccups and it felt like I had the hiccups too….I already loved you.

When it was time for you to be born and I gazed upon you for the first time and heard your first cry.

When I held you in my arms and wondered how on earth I ever lived with out you. I felt a love I had never known before. I thought I loved you when you were just a thought but now that you were here, I loved you more.

While feeding you in the early hours before dawn, the house quiet and dark, looking down on your sweet face, I loved you even more.

When you slept at night, all cuddled up in your pajamas with your thumb in your mouth, I loved you even more.

When you said your first words, took your first steps, celebrated your very first birthday. My love for you was HUGE.

Yes, my love for you knows no bounds. For as each year turned into the next, my love grew and grew.

Your first day of school.

Your first time on a bike.

Your first friend.

Your first heartache.

Who knew how deeply a mother’s love would be? How strong it would become day after day, year after year.

Now you are grown, but would you believe that when I look at you I still see my little boy. The memories we have made will forever be a part of me. You have taught me to love in a way that I never knew possible. And no matter how far you may roam, you will always be in my heart.

Because long before I met you, I loved you and now that I know you, my son, I will love you forever and always ❤️

boy mom · Happiness · Life · Mom life · Parenting · School · Stay at home moms · Words

Silence is the new calm.


They say silence is golden, and they are right.

Silence is calm. It’s an invited peace that I have been longing for.

This is the third day that all my boys have been in school and I have had the house to myself. This is the first year that all my boys have had school 5 days a week, all day long. My 4-year old is no longer the baby that stays home with mama but instead he is growing into a young boy that is now in Pre-K.

I worried that being at home sans kids would be lonely and that I’d miss having a child near me at all times. I do, but I also don’t. It’s been 13 years since I have had this type of quiet. I had my oldest son when I was 26, my middle son when I was 30 and my youngest little man when I was 35. Now I’m 40 and finding that I rather enjoy the solitude that comes with kids being away at school and a house to myself.

It’s a new stage for me, for sure. I’m figuring out, as I go, what my week will look like, what my schedule will entail. How being a stay at home mom (with no kids) will play out day after day. And you know what? I’m excited!

Through out the years our lives have many twists and turns and we find things to look forward to. Getting engaged and then planning the wedding, getting married. Deciding it’s time to have a baby and then finding out you are pregnant. The birth of your first child and then your second and third. Realizing that you are done having kids and just relishing your babies and how fast they are growing. All of a sudden you think that these exciting stages are over. You are married. You are done having kids. Said kids are no longer babies and are in school now. Most of your firsts are in the past, but are all of your new beginnings over? Or is a new beginning starting to form? I’ll say the latter.

I am older now. My kids are all in school. I now have time for me. Time to do things like write and go to the grocery store by myself. Time to reflect on things. Time to just go to the library and wander through the many aisles of books, in no hurry to leave. Time to figure out more about myself and who I am. Time to delve into God’s word a bit more and begin to understand more about Jesus’ life. Time to sit on the couch and just read a book with a warm cup of coffee in hand. Time to volunteer at my boys school and be that mom who bakes cupcakes for birthday parties. Time to get all my chores done and dinner prepared. Time. Lots and lots of time. Uninterrupted and quiet.


As I’m writing this, it’s what I hear. It’s new. It’s different. It will take some getting used to but I’m going to welcome it with open arms. I’m going to bask in it and I’m definitely going to cherish it. This golden silence.