What will it take?

April 14, 2023April 14, 2023 Jenn JohnsonLeave a comment

In a world of senseless tragedies, where children aren’t even safe at school, it’s getting more and more difficult to have faith in humanity. There has always been evil in the world but it has now seeped its way into places that were once deemed safe. It’s impossible not to be afraid that a tragedy will strike close to home sooner or later. It’s impossible for us to ever think of schools as a safe place ever again. We are no longer naive to the fact that they can be battle zones. I don’t know how we can fix this but I don’t believe it’s just one thing. It is multifaceted and complicated and involves way more than gun control. This is just my opinion. What do you think?

love

She is…

May 24, 2022 Jenn JohnsonLeave a comment

She is freedom and captivity all rolled up in one. There are days when she runs wild and nothing can hold her down. And there are days when she feels trapped by the confines of life and she questions everything. Her soul is a little bit of fire and a little bit of ice. She sometimes strays from who she wants to be but she always finds her way back. She finds life highly addictive in all of its highs and lows. She feels blessed but also cursed. She knows that life can change in an instant and she sometimes finds herself waiting for the shoe to drop. She feels deeply and loves hard and when she says that she will always be there, she means it. Her heart is delicate but she is strong. So if you love her, love her deeply. Give her your heart and all that you are. Be in one hundred percent. She will excite you and show you life in a whole new way. And with her, you will never, ever be the same person that you were before.

Change · Happiness · Life · Poetry · Thoughts · Words

Good, Good Day

September 28, 2020July 23, 2021 Jenn JohnsonLeave a comment

I wake up to a chill in the air and the sound of the wind rustling through the trees just outside my window. It’s a Monday, the start of a brand new week, full of brand new possibilities. At this early hour, the house is quiet, beds still hold sleeping bodies lulled with dreams. I breathe in the coolness of the house and wrap my favorite soft blanket tightly around my shoulders as I make my way downstairs to the smell of coffee brewing. I see the darkness fading as the sun begins to rise and greet the day, lighting up the entire world. And I can feel it in my bones. It’s going to be a good, good day.

Faith · God · Happiness · Life · Religion · Words

Matthew 6:34

February 11, 2019February 11, 2019 Jenn JohnsonLeave a comment

sunrise-quotes

One of my favorite bible verses is Matthew 6:34 which states “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

I actually have this written down and placed on my refrigerator, a magnet holding it securely in place. A daily reminder to not let worry tug at my soul and take up space in my day.

The thing is, even though the note has been hanging on my refrigerator door and I do read it, albeit not daily as I had planned, worry still seems to float around in my mind and at times overwhelm me.

I want so badly to listen to these words of wisdom that have been graciously handed down and truly disable all worries I have about the here and now. But the question is how? How can you stop worrying about tomorrow?

Matthew sure had it right when he said that “each day has enough trouble of its own”. Don’t we all face daily struggles and challenges? Each day bringing with it something new, whether a small worry or a big one?

Then it occurred me, the most important words of this verse, to me, are “for tomorrow will worry about itself”. It is a stark reminder that tomorrow isn’t promised to any one of us so why spend precious minutes worrying about it? Tomorrow will be different from today in many ways and who knows what will unfold then.

I believe Matthew is telling us to live for the now. To be present and alive. To put aside the worries we have for the future and do what we can with today. To not let worry linger in the forefront of our minds and let minutes and hours of this day go by, wasted.

You see worry robs us of presence. Worry steals our joy. Worry is a thief.

This beautiful verse serves as a reminder that God wants us to enjoy today and be fully conscious in everything we do. He doesn’t want worry to paralyze us so much so, that we hold our breaths as we wait for things to fall apart. He didn’t create us to spend our time in a constant state of stress, waiting and wondering. He created us to fully experience His earth. To see, feel, touch and smell the world around us and bathe in its beauty.

I don’t want to worry away this time I have today with my husband and my kids, my worry taking me away from them. I don’t want to take advantage of a single moment by poisoning it with anguish. I want to take Matthew’s advice to heart and tuck worry aside, at least starting with the small worries I hold on to. I want to tuck it into the folds of my inner being where it will always be with me.

Like the magnet that holds my handwritten note to the refrigerator door, I want these words to stay hung up in my heart, where they will stay, permanently etched.

Exercise · Happiness · Life · Workout · Yoga

Yoga: Good for the Soul.

September 7, 2017January 26, 2019 Jenn JohnsonLeave a comment

Standing on the edge of my mat, eyes closed, I take a deep breathe and begin to connect with my soul.

My spirit.

My inner being.

I have been practicing long enough, that I can maintain my balance without opening my eyes. With each slow breathe I feel blanketed in peace. My mind begins to calm. Thoughts begin to fade away.

I am HERE.

In THIS moment.

Just being.

Yoga is my heart. Every morning I rise and roll out my mat to practice this ancient form of exercise. Moving through the poses, I stay grounded and connected to the present moment. My mat is my sanctuary where nothing of the world can get to me. A place to let thoughts go. For that small amount in time, it’s just me and my mat.

Before I found yoga, I struggled to like like/accept myself. I always wanted to be something better (thinner). Numbers consumed me ~ I counted calories & macros, weighed myself every day, wrote down my measurements. I focused solely on these numbers and depending on what they were, it could either make or break my day. I focused on hard core workouts that burned tons of calories but that left me feeling, bleh!

I researched a lot on yoga because I felt like it was not ‘enough’ exercise for me. I was used to doing more HIIT training and yoga felt really slow. I read through articles and sought out yoga teachers to gain some knowledge. What I learned was that yoga was enough! Not only is it stretching your entire body but it also involves a ton of core work and body strength and depending on the type of yoga you do, you can still burn calories and get a great workout.

There are so many different types, that depending on how you feel that day, you have endless options. Some of the more popular styles include Hatha, Vinyasa, Ashtanga, Bikram, Hot Yoga, Yin Yoga and Restorative.

Check out this article from The Daily Burn that explains what each type of yoga is:

http://www.dailyburn.com/life/fitness/yoga-for-beginners/kundalini-yin-bikram/

There is a form of yoga for everyone! You just need an open space, a mat (or even just your floor) and yourself. You don’t need to be super flexible or be able to master Crow pose or headstand right away. Like all things it takes practice. Each day you step onto your mat is a chance to grow. Both physically and spiritually.

If you already do yoga I’d love to hear what your favorite type is as well as what your favorite/most challenging poses are. Thanks!

grief · Happiness · Life · loss · love · Relationships · Words

Missed Call

August 30, 2017January 26, 2019 Jenn JohnsonLeave a comment

I can still remember his twisted smile, the way his mouth curved to one side right before he laughed. I can still see him in my minds eye. Forever 39 years old. Forever in my heart.

I lost my brother in 2006 and in some ways, all these years later, it feels like I dreamed him up. Faded memories become blurry and I wonder if they really ever happened but then there are the pictures. I see him in his teens, full of wonder and bursting with excitement. I see him in his twenties, friends have their arms slung across his back with drunk smiles. I see him in his thirties, holding my firstborn son, looking down on him with total love and awe. He only ever got to spend 2 years being an uncle. His love in those 2 years was something fierce though. My son was the apple of his eye and he just ate him up. He was 37 at the time, with no kids of his own, and I think that being an uncle filled a kind of hole in his heart.

When he was 39, he left us and to say it was sudden wouldn’t even begin to describe it. One minute he was calling me on the phone and then the next minute my phone is ringing and someone is telling me that he’s gone.

The thing about death is, that even though we know it can creep up on us at anytime, we never really believe that it will. We carry on believing that death is for the old and sick and so we go about our days not giving much attention to it. We leave people with unkind words or empty stares because we will definitely see them again and work things out. We don’t apologize because we need time and we’ll definitely do it tomorrow. I mean, there’s always tomorrow, right?

I had no time to say goodbye and no way to call him back. He wanted to talk to me and I was busy so I let his call go to voicemail and the next day he was gone. That isn’t fair. I had his number and had every intention to call him back (tomorrow) but now he would never answer. This time, my call would forever go to HIS voicemail.

I love my brother and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish I would’ve answered that call and been able to talk with him one last time. What was it that he would have told me? Was it important?

Don’t take time for granted because it might be running out soon. Time is never guaranteed, it’s unpredictable and fleeting.

Cherish the people you love and leave anger behind before you walk away from them. Anger never made things right.

Say I’m sorry, even if your not ready to. Swallow your pride.

Say I love you, more than you should.

And answer your phone…..it could be that the person calling will have no way of getting in touch with you tomorrow.

friends · grief · Happiness · Life · love · Poetry · Self confidence · Words

Rantings in a Coffee Shop

August 30, 2017January 26, 2019 Jenn JohnsonLeave a comment

I’m that person in a busy coffee shop, sitting at the corner table for two that currently seats one. A blur in the lives of the people passing by, placing orders. No one really notices me since they are too busy with their own doings. I sit, listening quietly to conversations, a curious mind I tell myself. What do people talk about ? How are they friends and what qualities am I missing so that I am alone?

At times it’s satisfying to be by myself, a solo in a world of pairs. Other times I long for an ear, a friend who sits with me in coffee shops in the middle of a rainy afternoon, just to pass the time. We talk about simple things like the weather or our favorite T.V. shows and we laugh about things our kids said.

I sip my coffee, peering above the top of my plastic lid, enjoying the hot brew and the warmth of it in my cupped hands. But deep, deep down I’m cold and coffee doesn’t seem to ever warm me completely.